the way He works

I know that God always gives the best for us, but I just don't understand the way He works.

let me give you an example about the thing in my mind. let's put it if I know someone who's smart, beautiful, kindhearted. I think when I saw this girl I imagined that she's gonna have a great campus life, great career and then the rest of her life is gonna be greater that she could ever imagined. I adore her, really. I always hoped that someday I could be like her; the way she treat other people was so friendly. I'm melted. what else do you got? she already got beauty, brain, and behavior.


I let you to see me on only one side thinking of her, because I don't really get into her life. you may say that I'm subjective because I adore her. but I write this by my perspective, don't I? (well you may not want to continue reading.. I'm sorry and thanks for coming).

I'm sorry because sounds like I'm judging but.. now I think that she didn't have chance as great as I think. I saw her live an ordinary life, no precious college, no precious job, and nothing extraordinary.. according to me. I'm kinda sad because I know that she's smart and she has some skills that could help her to go abroad, get many great experiences but.. what happened with all of her good point? sometimes I think it's just unfair. I don't mean that someone who's worse than her got all of that great things. no, that's not what I'm talking about. I wonder why she doesn't get that great things? what's wrong? I know that no one's perfect but for the God's sake, what things that she can't do? she's terrific. fascinating. and every time I think about it, I felt like I've been threw out. I had no idea.


but the good part of this is.. she's very happy. I see her beauty face smiles and laugh. that pretty girl that I saw couple years ago is still the same, but I can see that life changes her a lot. she may have a different way than what she had in that time. it hurts me, eventually. yeah I know that I give a damn about her doesn't even matter but.. I was hoping, adoring her, seeing she's gonna be someone who had the best damn thing in the world. but that didn't happen.

I know that everyone doesn't have the same chance. let me assume again, now she's not using her skills in her life; it's like she went to the different way than her skills can offer. still, I don't understand. why?

back to what I always bear in my mind, maybe it's the best way for her, according to God. He knows the best reason why these things had to be happened.

but I realize the saddest thing of this story is, I can't adore her anymore. she isn't the same girl that I adored. she's gone, far away. she left what she had behind, like those things mean nothing to her life now. it deeply hurts. but at least, she's happy. and it should be accepted.